This is not a full circle. It's life carrying on. It's the next breath we all take.
It's the choice we make to get on with it.
~ Alexandra Fuller
I am up late - or rather still up early this morning. It has been an exciting day and I am having a hard time going to bed - too wound up.
Two young friends graduated from college today. One, a young artist friend, with a decidedly unique vision, walked the stage at the private school about a mile away from my home. She attended the community college where I worked and was an inspiration for me as a staffer and as a fellow art student. It was wonderful to see the Dia de los Muertos design atop her cap and to see the love and joy on the faces of her parents, children, and partner. This young friend will be a teacher and inspire more artists. The thought of it makes me so happy.
The second young person is one of a family of brothers. These young men each left their home for different reasons, but have supported, inspired, cajoled, and loved each other - creating a special family and a new home. And a cousin has joined them now.
They have been inspirations/blessings in my life for some 12 or 13 years. Raised in a very strict and somewhat closed community, they have accomplished amazing things in the "outside" world. Tired of the MANY rules that once governed their lives, they opted for three as they came together one by one: Each had to go to school, get a job, and do his chores.
They have embraced and achieved in education (Starting with 8th grade educations, they have earned an aggregate 5 GEDs, one high school diploma, 4 associate degrees and 4 bachelors). They own businesses and homes. And they remain close. [And the grass was always mowed/chores done.]
This evening, at the graduation party we were telling some of their friends how we met. I shared some stories about challenges that faced them in the early days. Most of the stories were about lighthearted moments of wonder or connection - moments that touched my heart and have remained there -- squirreled away as, I suppose, teachers do.
For the oldest, "H," it was the Christmas tree in 2004. That was the year two brothers arrived and we were celebrating. The small tree was decorated with lights, ornaments, and Mardi Gras beads. Tiny stockings hung at the base. He said it was the first Christmas tree he had since leaving home. It still brings tears even as I write the story.*
I met "I" in an empty classroom one summer while I was struggling with a report. We talked essays and "general knowledge" and he told me his story and he told me his dreams. And we, strangers, joked and laughed. With his sense of humor and determination, I somehow knew he would make it. And, as each brother (and then later his cousin) arrived, "I" brought them to me - in my little classroom down the alley.
"ET" was older by a few years than the others when he left home. He is a
thoughtful young man and we had more than a few conversations about
home. His was the only "what if" I ever heard any of them voice and he
quickly dismissed it. [They live in the now and plan for the future. No
looking back.] I rode with him on his first ride on an escalator. Later, when he was teased about not having flown in an airplane, we arranged a surprise flight in a small plane.**
"R" graduated tonight. I can still see the frustrated look on his face when (years ago) he said that he had left me a "voice message" on my cell phone and I told him I had no idea how to retrieve it. He took my phone and rapidly punched buttons. "Here," he said, putting the phone up to my mouth. "Say your name." And then he showed me how to retrieve messages so I wouldn't miss any more. He went to court for an "emancipation" in order for him to "get on" with his life. He has certainly gotten on with it.
"S" still has the joy and excitement I witnessed as he took his first bicycle ride. He rode flat-out...no braking. Clearly there would be no stopping him. SS has a bit of a reputation for getting into mischief...like the broken leg that kept him out of school when he was young and a losing battle with fire-ants that put him in the emergency room.
"EU," the cousin, and I went to the movies - her first I was to learn. Outside of the theater, in the parking lot, was a security guard on a segue. Of course we stopped and watched him ride. We talked to the officer who demonstrated how the machine worked. I suspect she has ridden one by now. She is a brave young woman, a risk taker.
What a blessing and privilege it has been to experience the wonder, learning, and accomplishments of these young people. They have had such an impact in my life.
Folks came from all over the country to be with R for his graduation. He is one of those people who never meets a stranger. It was quite a celebration. We cheered as he walked the stage. We ate and drank and told stories after.... As I left the party I thought about how far they had all come. I remembered some of the dreams I'd heard and was grateful to see so many come true.
I remember wanting to write the boys' mother some years ago. I needed to make sure she knew they were all doing well, that they were together and supporting each other. I also wanted her to know that so much of what they were taught at home had allowed them to prosper - that, while the boys chose a different life, they realized the gifts their parents had bestowed. Each has a unique sense of humor. They are all hard workers. They are loyal. They have a fundamental goodness (I have no other words to describe it. They are good souls.). But I refrained from writing. It was not my place. [Though I encouraged them to write. As a mother, I knew she would always worry and wonder.]
Now I find that they have been back to see their parents and other siblings - a good visit. No letter was or is required.
I have learned that sometimes I have to step back and let life.
NOTES:
*"H" was never my student. All the rest of the brothers were, in some form or fashion. I suppose I was his student as I watched him "parent" these young men, some of whom were children when he left home.
**We blindfolded him and drove him miles away, on a varied route, to the local airport. I could see him following the trip in his head and saw when he lost his way.
